


Pendulum

by osunism



Series: Ice Shielded By Flame [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Antagonism, F/F, Femslash, Grief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 20:20:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8299561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/osunism/pseuds/osunism
Summary: "I cannot be to you what he was."





	

“You’re wounded.” Hadiza says the words as if she is surprised. Calpernia is a tempest on the field, as untouchable as the divine, and just as capricious. If Hadiza thought the woman could not be harmed by any weapon shaped by mortal hands, she is quickly disabused of the notion when she sees the raw score of split flesh along the other woman’s left shoulder. 

Calpernia frowns, seems not to notice the severity of the wound. Hadiza says nothing about the thick scars on her back, the crookedness of her fingers from being broken, or anything she knows denotes physical mistreatment.

“Let me treat you, at least.” Hadiza says firmly. Calpernia hesitates at first, her grip on her staff tremulous but certain. Hadiza waits, her hands at her sides, a gesture of trust, but Calpernia’s eyes narrow as if weighing and measuring her.

Finally, she sits, turning her back to Hadiza.

“Alright.” She says curtly, “Be quick. I don’t need your help with flesh wounds.”

Hadiza hesitates, her hand hovering over a bowl of cleansing water. She swallows against an unexpected lump in her throat.

“But I need _your_ help, Calpernia. The least you could do is let me help keep you alive.” She says softly. Calpernia shoots her a sharp glance over her wounded shoulder, then hisses in pain. Hadiza is already there with a tonic to cleanse it, and Calpernia bites her lip to bruising against the sting of it. The remainder is just a matter of Hadiza picking bits of grit from the laceration with her nails, cleansing the wound again, and then rubbing salve around the affected area.

“You should be more mindful of your shields,” Hadiza says softly, wrapping the other woman’s torso in a bandage. The silence of nightfall seems to close around them as Calpernia says nothing.

“You were careless,” Hadiza continues, “reckless even. You shouldn’t–”

“I’m not him.” Calpernia says coldly. Hadiza comes up short, her tongue rendered numb and useless in her mouth, and an unexpected grip around her heart. Her breath comes in small gasps, and she swallows against a lump in her throat.

“I know that.” She whispers thickly. Calpernia does not regret it, but her expression softens somewhat. “I just…I just thought…”

“I know what you thought, Inquisitor,” Calpernia says, but the chill is gone, replaced only by steel, “I am not him. I can never be to you what he was.”

“I wasn’t asking you to be.” Hadiza says defensively, her brow knitting in a frown. Calpernia tests the range of her arm gingerly, straining to the limit and back. Already, the soreness of the wound is reduced to a dull ache, and she licks her lips, the honeyed taste of Hadiza’s healing magic still thick in her mouth.

“You didn’t have to ask, Inquisitor.” She says, and the look on the other woman’s face is answer enough, until she looks away.

“You need me to help you gain a foothold here, but you’ve one foot in the past with no signs of moving forward. He’s dead.” Calpernia says the words curtly, cuts to the quick, watches Hadiza absorb the words like a fresh blow, opening her grief anew. “He’s dead and there’s nothing you can do to change it. Move forward, or fall back. You’re no good to the rebellion dead, or your highborn friend, I’d wager.”

Hadiza takes a deep, shuddering breath. Calpernia watches with a shrewd gaze, watches as Hadiza passes from grief to fear to anger. How lucky she must have been, to have found love that no one took from her but fate itself! How lucky she must have been to know that joy and freedom to love. How bitter the parting must have been. Calpernia had made peace with that bitterness long ago. She knew its flavor on her tongue like a fine vintage–a familiar bite on the palate that reminded her of where she came from and why she is now ice shielded by flame.

Hadiza lets the breath out in a withering sigh.

“Let me treat you,” she says quietly, “allow me that, at least.”

Calpernia tilts her head.

“Very well.” Is all she says and lets Hadiza return to her work.


End file.
